So a couple of days ago I was asked to answer some questions for another blog and I thought I might as well post them here as well. I have touched on some of this stuff already, but its still interesting to see where I’m at now.
How old were you when you realize you were not intact? Honestly I don’t remember, probably around puberty or a little before.
What were your initial feelings when you discovered your foreskin was removed if you remember? My initial feelings were based entirely on the ignorance surrounding circumcision that has been perpetuated throughout my life. And that is that this is what you are supposed to do, and everyone else has done it too. So I didn’t really think anything of it at the time. The U.S. was far less informed about circumcision in the 70’s and 80’s than they are now, and as a result I just accepted my circumcision as a normal state of being.
How did you feel towards your parent/guardian? At the time I never thought anything of it. But once I became educated and aware of what I had truly lost, I asked my mom about it. And she said that she was just doing what everyone else in 1975 did, and at the time she thought it was the right thing to do. I can’t fault either of my parents. In the end, they were as much victims of the system as I was. When I told my mom that I was restoring, she didn’t understand why (though she was/is accepting). She like most Americans, still don’t know what the function of a foreskin even is. Which is sad, because now there is so much information that is readily available and neither of my parents have any clue. Nor do most of the people in their generation. If I was born today and my parents circumcised me, I would never let them hear the end of it.
Toward the doctors/establishment? I have little to no respect for doctors and the establishment, and becoming educated about my circumcision was a huge catalyst for that. Once I learned about the facts regarding foreskins and circumcision, I began to question everything. I asked myself “what else do the doctors have wrong”, and sadly the answer is most things. But that’s a different conversation.
Do you suffer from any physical irritation, sensitivity, or pain as a consequence of your circumcision? Yes, before I began restoring, my penis would regularly become chafed after sex, no matter how much lubrication was used. Sometimes it would take 2 or 3 days to fully heal. Also, I have noticed a decrease in sensitivity and that it can take a very long time to orgasm in certain positions. My partner also experienced dryness and soreness after sex. Now that I have been restoring for 8 months, I experience much less chafing, if any at all. And I can see and feel a lot more skin when I masturbate. However there is not yet enough extra skin to create the gliding action during sex, so my partner has yet to reap the benefits.
Do you feel violated? If so, can you explain? Yes. I strongly feel like circumcision is a decision that should be left up to the individual alone. Permanently altering/removing a healthy, functional, and necessary body part without permission is truly a violation in every sense of the word.
Do you feel that your sex life would have been different if you had remained intact? If so, can you explain? Very much so. I know for a fact that human sexual function is severely altered by the lack of a foreskin. And I think that aside from the physical mechanics of sex and the foreskins role, my relationships as a whole would have been better as a result of normally functioning sex.
Can you explain the emotions behind restoration? Its a bit of a roller coaster. As I began learning about all the functions of a foreskin, I got very frustrated at the system. Even though for years prior, I didn’t really think much of it, because for most of my adult life, up until about 2 years ago, I just thought that my sex was as normal as everyone elses and thats just how it was. Education in this matter has made me very jaded. Eventually I just came to the conclusion that dwelling on what happened to me isn’t going to change anything, and by restoring my foreskin, I can put myself back in control of the situation and turn a negative into a positive. So now that I am restoring, I look forward to turning my glans back into a properly functioning internal organ with full sensitivity. And I look forward to restoring the gliding action that is a result of the extra skin being in place. As well as the significantly reduced need for artificial lubrication. But I am still pretty bummed that I can’t restore the 20,000+ nerve endings that were removed forever. And every time I see an intact penis, I am envious of the nerve endings. I would love for one second to know what they feel like. Also, going through the restoration process itself is a bit of a roller coaster. When I first started, I was gung-ho for at least 6 months. But lately it requires conscious effort to remember to put my stretching device on every day. I have to draw a lot of motivation from helping create awareness and educating other people on circumcision and restoration. I wish the progress was faster, but at least I do know that the process works, and that lots of people before me have done it. But right now I am dragging myself through it, hoping that it will be done soon. And that in turn creates a low-lying level of resentment and frustration that I often contend with.
If you have a significant other, do they have any feelings on your circumcision? Yes, my girlfriend is a full-blown intactivist now as well, and we both look forward to the day that I have a restored foreskin. In the meantime, she is very supportive of me and works hard to spread factual information about foreskins and restoration.
Do you feel that your civil rights were violated when you were cut? If so, can you explain? Yes, it goes back to the idea that no person deserves to be permanently physically altered without their permission.